i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
