we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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