I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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