yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
