forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
