I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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