I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
