i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i think i just lost a toe
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
