Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize