I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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