you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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