Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
