I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
