Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
