sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
last night I used snow as a chaser
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