Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
