Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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