Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
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