Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
