SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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