Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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