Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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