i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
