Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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