You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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