Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
