tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i think im in europe. pls send help
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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