you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
