how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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