Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
