She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize