so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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