Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
