If i could tip my vagina, i would.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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