no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize