WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
