Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
