They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
