I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think my vagina is haunted
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
