Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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