do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
