OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
