She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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