I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
