Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
