bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
