Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
