remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
