Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize