omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
