I heard we made out
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
