What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
