I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
