these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
