did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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