If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
