god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
