Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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