Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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