Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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