Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
