WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
